I love thrift stores. Love, love, LOVE thrift. Stores.
If you want me to have a multiple O, first take me to the library, then to Rubio’s and finally, to the Goodwill.
I would O all over the place. And not the Oprah kind.
So…Given that it’s Wednesday, that wonderful wacky time of the week known as “Tip Day” here at San Diego Momma, I thought I’d share my thrifting tips with you.
Just please don’t shop where I do. I want all the good stuff.
Which leads me to a story…
I have this friend. She’s a right proper friend and a nice lady. As such, I take her thrifting with me and show her the ways of the hunt and peck. We have fun together. We find good things.
Then this one day, I happened upon a pair of VINTAGE FRYE CAMPUS BOOTS. If you are at all cool and normal, you know why I put that in all caps. VINTAGE FRYE. BOOTS.
Well, my friend didn’t know what Frye boots were, which was good, because they were going to be mine, mine, ALL MINE.
Except that they were not in my size. And oh how I tried to make them my size. For about an hour actually. I even considered cutting off a toe or a distal phalanx if i had to. Because? VINTAGE FRYE.
Oh and the coup de grace or whatever that French phrase is for cream on the cake or cherry on top: they were $30.
So they don’t fit. My heart drops, my stomach tumbles. As I contemplated shaving off a bunion, my friend walks by and says, “What are those?” And I say, “VINTAGE FRYES.” And she says again, “What are those?” And my lady parts – and sense of all that is good and right in the world — shrivel a little as I say: “VINTAGE“.
And she says?
“Those are my size!”
And I say?
“I HATE YOU WITH ALL THE HATE I HAVE!”
Or maybe I said:
“Good for you.”
And so she bought them. And Googled Frye boots and realized that she just scored a pair of awesomeness that costs upwards of $300 for THIRTY.
And then she sent me pictures of how she was going to wear them.
There were boots with summer dresses.
With jean skirts.
And I just about ripped her Frye-wearing feet off her damn ass body.
But I said?
“Good for you.”
Still see…Those were supposed to be MY boots.
And the really shitty thing is?
She got them for an extra 25% off.
Because they were on sale.
VINTAGE FRYE BOOTS PRICED AT ONLY $30 WERE ON SALE FOR AN ADDITIONAL 25% OFF.
AND NOT IN MY SIZE.
Please excuse me. I am much too tired and enraged to write thrifting tips now.