• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / It’s Not Who You Know, It’s What You Know

It’s Not Who You Know, It’s What You Know

Etcetera

NOSE JOB!

 

Curriculum Vitae: A banana brain, nose job candidate, constipated, 34C.

 

I’ve lived a lot of places in my life, and nowhere has seemed as small town as the suburb I call home today. Everyone knows everything about everyone and Good Lord, you don’t want to make a wrong move…kinda like when a married someone I know made out with her kid’s teacher in front of everyone but her husband.

 

That wasn’t so terrific.

 

Especially when you say her name in the course of a conversation and the raised eyebrows and knowing glances commence. That’s the way it works around here: Say a person’s name and invariably someone in your conversation circle knows when she pooped last and how often she sleeps with her husband. Or someone other than her husband. Or vice versa. Or versa vice.

 

I’m telling you: it’s crazy up in here.

 

My favorite is when someone asks YOU a question and it’s obvious they already know the answer because YOU were the subject of a recent neighborhood gab fest. Apparently matters are not helped by the fact that YOU have a blog where you share intimate details of your swollen right boob.

 

It’s not like this everywhere. Where I lived last? My neighbors didn’t even know my name. In point of fact, they didn’t care to know. I wasn’t a hippie or an artist OR a stoner, so I wasn’t especially interesting. But put a bunch of moms together? In a town where all the kids go to school together? And I can tell you who feeds their kids too much McDonald’s, who doesn’t discipline enough, who disciplines too much, who spends beyond their means, and whose boobs are fake — along with the approximate date of the surgery and chosen cup size.

 

I swear every single word of this is true.

 

This is novel to me. I’m used to being disenfranchised and disconnected. To wondering about the person who lives next door. To looking at a chest and not knowing for sure.

 

I have to tell you I’m very surprised there’s not a reality show on all of us and our big mouths.

 

I for one would totally watch the episode starring McKissy Lips CheaterFace.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

February 27, 2010 · 8 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « Well At Least My Family Loves Me
Next Post: The Veil Lifts »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy says

    February 27, 2010 at 3:51 pm

    The suburbs can be exciting! But, you don’t really know your neighbors until you’ve been naked hot tubbing with them.

    Reply
  2. Jenn @ Juggling Life says

    February 27, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    The Real Housewives of North City Inland–coming to a TV near you!

    Reply
  3. Me says

    February 28, 2010 at 11:10 am

    Isn’t it amazing how the story gets around? It’s so true though! I tell my husband that people talk all the time and he always rolls his eyes and says, “Nooo…they don’t. Who cares?”

    Do me a favor? Would you? Take that picture above and list four REALLY positive things about it because banana brain and nose job were not my top two descriptions.

    I’ll bet Dr. Carolle would agree you do this!!

    Reply
  4. Me says

    February 28, 2010 at 11:12 am

    I’ll tell you what immediately came to mind as my top two when you do that exercise for me…

    and then some…

    Reply
  5. San Diego Momma says

    February 28, 2010 at 11:54 am

    Homework? I have homework??? Are you and Dr. Carolle in cahoots?

    OK: Blonde, green-eyed, real, stubborn.

    :)

    Love.

    Reply
  6. Me says

    February 28, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    Pretty, nice eyes, warm smile, full lips, good skin, real, open, honest, witty, funny, talented, good writer… I am sure I could come up with more if I knew you better.

    Reply
  7. MomZombie says

    March 1, 2010 at 8:29 am

    Perfect. Spot-on. I’m so glad I found your blog.

    Reply
  8. green girl in Wisconsin says

    March 1, 2010 at 8:48 am

    That is exactly why I believe in multi-age groupings in neighborhoods. My neighbors don’t talk trash because we’re all at different stages in life!

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

Christmas carols for dad... Through the nursing ho Christmas carols for dad...
Through the nursing home window...
❤️
Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagge Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagger...
Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and de Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and despite my phone being stolen right before this pic, I couldn’t deny there are still good things in the world like red sunsets. Even if thieves and bad people muck stuff up every now and again.
Well. One of us takes her time to carve things rig Well. One of us takes her time to carve things right....No. I don’t know what it is. (It was supposed to be Chucky but she carved the wrong parts.) (I still admire the attention to detail.)
#OneDayHH — 8:23PM — Felt like the right time #OneDayHH — 8:23PM —
Felt like the right time to try Schitt’s Creek again. I couldn’t get into it last I tried.
But non-football-watching wives of football watchers do as they must do. And they must do it alone.
#OneDayHH — 6PM — Early evening still life. #OneDayHH — 6PM — 
Early evening still life. 
Husband working/watching football.
Outdoor cushions sheltered from possible rain showers tonight.
Buddha watching over all.
#OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out y #OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out yesterday for a work something...
About to put it back and this earnestness catches my eye from adolescent Debbie...
😳
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.