My suggestion is that tables and chairs not be positioned close to the bathroom. Like not right on top of the bathroom practically, where diners can see people go in and out and sometimes if the door swings just right, see them on the pot (or the floor as the case came to be). And also not superduperthisclose to the bathroom, where odors circulate over cheese plates and bruschetta. The odiferous kind of odors. Also, it’s preferred if there were a maître d’ of people about to throw up. You know, someone official to escort googly-legged young women outside into the dumpster and out of ear and nose shot.
Especially recommended is if restaurant seating planners spent a few moments in the diners’ seats and eyes and ears and noses and sense of all that is right and pure in the world and realized just what a bummer it is to see someone rush into the bathroom with a mop and a plunger. You know, while eating stuff.
Now as for ordering a “Mule” while all this was going on. That part? Is all on me.
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