It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s an experiential overview!
I’m still not sure how to incorporate product reviews (henceforth referred to as “experiental overview” into my blog yet, or if I even want to, but I have found that I’m game if the following four bullet points are addressed:
1) The product to be reviewed is sent to me by a rep who says things like:
I respect your honesty however you choose to write or not write about the Sport-Brella–with humor and neurosis is fine.
Thank you for your consideration. I would be happy to send you a complimentary product for review. I can send you a red one to go with your hat and swimsuit–oh wait, is that a rendering or photo?
[Editor’s Note: The bikini picture at top left is an artistic interpretation of a figment of my imagination.]
2) The product to be reviewed is something I actually like, and use, and allows me to tell The Rock “I TOLD YOU SO!”
3) The product to be reviewed garners me admiring glances.
4) The product to be reviewed is not already owned by our best friend rich couple who buys The Rock and I such things as beds, and computers, and TVs and stainless steel countertop appliances and who we never ever know what to get them in return because they HAVE EVERYTHING IN THE FREE WORLD. And in space.
So guess what? Yep! The Sport-Brella experientially overviewed today is one such product that met the above criteria AND it offers instant portable shelter from the sun, rain, and wind with SPF 50+ quick shade protection!
I’ll try again.
The Sport-Brella made people think I was cool (clever play on words alert), less existential, and the owner of beautiful skin.
(Too “San Diego Mommy?”)
Maybe my overview will be more effective if I proffer anecdotal evidence.
So I took the Sport-Brella to the park. I read the directions, then handed them to The Rock who does all my putting togethering. He laughed when he read, “Easy set-up. Goes up in less than three minutes.” Because The Rock is a realist, and the last sun shade protection we had never got folded back together because collectively we could not figure out how to do it. (The sun shade before that got me banned from the local park because I spent 45 minutes swearing as it kept popping open in my face.) So The Rock made me time him (I swear to God). And I did and in less than three minutes the whole thing was up and I smugly said “I TOLD YOU SO!” even though I secretly thought the three-minute thing was a steaming pile of marketing mumbo jumbo.
Here is The Rock trying to nonchalantly act like he didn’t think the Sport-Brella lied.
The above picture is from a park where we spent the day with Toots and Booger. It was a day like any other where I forget to pack snacks and water and expect the girls to play with other kids’ sand toys because I forgot to pack those too. As is usually the case when The Rock and I take the girls somewhere and think they might play with kids and some such like, they instead crawl all over us and accidentally knee The Rock below the waist. I’m happy to say that during these memorable family times, we all fit comfortably under the Sport-Brella, which provided us with ample shade and nice airflow through the vented screen flaps.
Also, I don’t want to brag, but several times during the day, other families looked at us jealously and wished they had our Sport-Brella. I know because people walked by us and said, “Nice sun shade!” and “Where’d you get that?” and “Is your husband OK? He looks like someone kneed him below the waist for the 50th time today. It’s good you have enough room for a family of four under that Sport-Brella, so he can more adequately splay out in pain.”
On another occasion, we took the Sport-Brella to our afternoon Fourth of July festivities, where we met our best friend rich couple who gives us the most wonderful gifts ever and we agonize every Christmas over what to do. Seriously, we’ve gone the homemade route, the “Maybe they don’t have a bear rug?” route, and the “I know $500 is a lot to spend, but we’re desperate here,” route. I promise each and every one of you that this couple has everything. There is nothing you can tell them about or buy them that they do not already own 18 of already.
So when Mike, the male counterpart of the best friend rich couple, said, “Hey! Where’d you get that?” while pointing to the Sport-Brella, I thought the cockles of my heart would burn up right then and there. He liked the color, he said, he liked that it set up easily, he said, he liked that it was a canopy and an umbrella and sun shade all in one, he said, and he liked that it didn’t blow away like his last umbrella.
So I’m all “YES! Christmas present 2009!”
And you know what The Rock realist said? “I bet by this time tomorrow, Mike has 18 Sport-Brellas.”
Here’s The Rock trying to nonchalantly pretend he’s not a realist.
So the Sport-Brella: good job, you. I’m totally working on a tagline for you because you’re so awesome. Something like… “The Sport-Brella: Great Kneed-Below-the-Waist Protection!” or “The Sport-Brella: Tell Your Husband ‘I Told You So‘!”
I don’t know, something real catchy and pertinent like that.
In related news, I think I’m getting real good at these experiential overviews! Clearly, I will need to do more.
I know the Sport-Brella people will think so.
P.S. Link to the Sport-Brella is here.
Price is $69.99 (but I’ve seen them at Costco for less).
UPDATE: Costco is sold out.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Sport-Brella’s marketing director says: our marketing mumbo jumbo actually claims 3 seconds, not 3 minutes. And yes, to open it and lay it on the ground, it should take you 3 seconds. Even for a….The Rock. However, to do the complete set up it takes a minute or two. You’ll be down to 50 seconds next summer.
ONE MORE UPDATE:
Babies love Sport-Brellas too!
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