• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / Poo Ethers Be Gone!

Poo Ethers Be Gone!

Etcetera

So, moving sucks.

 

And I haven’t even done anything yet. But just thinking about it stinks.

 

Speaking of, I can’t get over the fact that I’m moving into someone else’s space that has (1) Their hair in the drains (2) Their poo ethers in the toilet (3) Their skin cells in the carpet.

 

I’m obsessing. And so I plan to buy new toilets because I just can’t sit on someone else’s butt imprint. I cannot. It’s a real problem. So bad, I hold my pee when I’m in public. Unless I really really have to go, and then I hover over the seat and close my eyes, because I just don’t want to know what lurks beneath.

 

So if you know where I can get some nice clean new toilets (not yours), please do let me know. In addition, I am looking for someone(s) to sponsor the following for this move:

 

  • Spousal Mediator. Because The Rock is going to kill me before all this is over.
  • Brainwasher. I want all thoughts of other people’s poo ethers and carpet skin cells erased from my mind and replaced with images of strong pine scents and prodigious Lysol clouds.
  • Master Life Organizer/Personal Assistant. I need someone to tell me where to put everything I own and keep The Rock from killing me. (This sponsorship may involve tasting all my food before I do.)
  • Deal-Finder. I need a new couch, new kitchen table, new patio stuff, new Pottery Barn white train table with paper dispenser for the kids, new skin-cell-free rugs, new light fixtures, new drawer pulls, and probably, a new The Rock.

Thanks for your prompt and careful attention to finding me these sponsorships.

 

Huh?

 

What’s in it for you?

 

How about if I have you over for some tea and crumpets masterfully prepared by my sponsored Life Organizer/Personal Assistant?

 

I’ll probably be single by the time I move and could really use the company.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

June 26, 2009 · 15 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « I’ve Said It Before and I’ll Say it Again
Next Post: Let’s Get Happy »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply to Green Girl in Wisconsin Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Me says

    June 26, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Breathe…in through your nose…one-one thousand…two-one thousand then out through your mouth…one-one thousand…two-one thousand…three-one thousand…four-one thousand.

    Currently putting this into effect myself.

    Reply
  2. vodkamom says

    June 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    omg. You’ve just given me something ELSE to worry about.

    butt imprints. ew.

    Reply
  3. vodkamom says

    June 26, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    and, if I might add, I DO believe this phrase ought to be included in the next Webster’s. WHere do I sign you up?

    Reply
  4. Maureen at IslandRoar says

    June 26, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    You can do this, you can!
    It’s almost over…

    Reply
  5. Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says

    June 26, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Good golly, you do make going crazy sound like a lotta fun. I’d offer to come along, but that ship has sailed and docked for me.
    XOXO

    Reply
  6. Blognut says

    June 26, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    You don’t have to have all new toilets, just get new seats. And? Hire a cleaning service to come in and scour everything, and use disinfectant.

    And believe, no matter what, when they tell you that they did the job.

    Oh yeah, and get the carpets cleaned, too.

    :)

    Reply
  7. Charity (AKA Virtue IMC) says

    June 26, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    OMFG – you are a riot… I agree with just get new seats – less expensive & no plumber’s crack involved.

    As to carpets – if it’s yours to fix might I suggest a trip to IKEA for some laminate flooring? Thus no one’s skin cells or any other bodily cast-offs will be available for future forensics files should there be a crime in your home (such as The Rock killing you for neurotic behavior).

    As to deal finder – I’ll take ya to all my faves!

    Smooches!

    Reply
  8. MissM says

    June 26, 2009 at 8:19 pm

    Bleach and steam cleaner. Saved my sanity after moving a zillion times… Oh, and rubber gloves. Will make The Rock let you come to bed next to him still.

    Reply
  9. brian papa says

    June 27, 2009 at 8:38 am

    The cool thing will be AFTER you moved, you’ll drive by this place and it will be like an old ex. Except it won’t because you’re already married. You’ll say to Rock, remember when we used to live there and…?
    We used to drive around our old houses all the time…and make fun of the people that moved in to our old space. “that’s who moved in! OMG! they totally killed the lawn…and look at the flowers!”

    happy moving!!!!

    Reply
  10. Jenn @ Juggling Life says

    June 27, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Organizing is my neuroses and my drug. You’d really let me help you?!

    Reply
  11. g says

    June 28, 2009 at 10:09 am

    Get new toilet seats, don’t worry about the rest of it. I used to always get a new toilet seat whenever I moved.

    Reply
  12. stephanie (bad mom) says

    June 28, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    I would likely drive you absolutely batshit with my utter nonchalance about the possibility of germs…Maybe it’s the going to amusement parks & fairs throughout my childhood – no time to worry about cooties!

    Best of luck! [P.S. I also recommend IKEA for all things new & inexpensive.]

    Reply
  13. Green Girl in Wisconsin says

    June 29, 2009 at 9:52 am

    New seats? That should work.
    New paint and flooring goes so far too…

    Reply
  14. The Girl Over Here says

    July 1, 2009 at 1:50 am

    I travel with hand sanitizer, wipes, and if there’s no toilet seat cover available, I will use four rolls of toilet paper to create a barrier between me and the seat. Otherwise, I hold it until I pop. Don’t even ask how often I clean my toilet at home. I’ve done cleaned through it in places.

    Deb, if you need help putting things away at the new place, I’m super expert at that and will supervise, chat, run to get food, chase kids, whatever it takes to help you get settled. By the way, is there room on your patio for a shed I can live in?

    Reply
  15. tinsenpup says

    July 1, 2009 at 6:08 am

    I think not hearing you talk about “poo ethers” ever again would be its own reward for helping in any way we can. :)

    Maybe a new toilet seat and a bottle of antiseptic would make a nice compromise?

    My beloved partner and I get along great by living in separate houses, if that’s any help…Maybe not…

    Most of my furniture comes from the ‘As is’ section of Ikea; curb side hard waste collections; ebay or thrift stores (I favour an ‘eclectic’ decorating style)…But I’m not sure there’s enough antiseptic in the world to help you deal with a used couch… :)

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫 💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫
Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Monica trip.
And now she knows she doesn’t want to live in LA….
#LifeLessons
It’s happening….. It’s happening…..
Barely tolerating me….. Barely tolerating me…..
Beach day with my “little” one while big sis e Beach day with my “little” one while big sis explores Cal Poly…
Life transitions. Beautiful but I haz the olds.
#NotAboutMe #Whhhhyyyyy
A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDo A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDoesntLikePictures
Sunset squad. Brought a picnic and drinks to Del M Sunset squad.
Brought a picnic and drinks to Del Mar and watched the waves and horizon. Not too crowded or cold - another good hang with the neighborhood gang! ❤️❤️
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2022 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.

SAVE & ACCEPT