• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / More On Writing, Pt. 1

More On Writing, Pt. 1

Etcetera

Left Bank Books

 

(Photo taken in New York’s West Village, October 2008)

 

A few months ago, I joined a writer’s coaching meeting that consisted of myself and two other people (who are near and dear to me). The ringleader for this meeting was Paul, who made it very clear that we ARE NOT TO READ OUR WORK ALOUD. No, instead THIS meeting is about kicking our collective asses and holding us all responsible for producing something. Meeting goals, if you will.

 

Now each Wednesday, I attend our meeting and must explain whether or not I met my writing goals for the week, and if not, why not, and I’m also tasked with identifying pitfalls, priorities (or lack thereof) and new goals for the upcoming week.

 

In the above, you may have noticed my usage of terminology like “tasked,” “must explain,” and “kicking asses.” This isn’t so much a warm and fuzzy meeting (although often there is wine) as it is an accountability meeting. You know, right? We all talk about finishing our book one day, or I gotta write that, or I’m a writer, or I’d die if I couldn’t write, and so really? Really? THEN WRITE. WRITE. WRITE!

 

WRITE!

 

See, I have this problem. I talk a lot. I espouse my goals and ambitions and my wanting to finish this manuscript and I can’t wait to tell this story and blar de blar blar. But have I concertedly worked on my manuscript?

 

No.

I

have

not.

 

This, despite asked for the full manuscript from two agents who read the first 20 pages at a writer’s conference. TWO (or THREE?) years ago. Despite wanting, really wanting, to write it. Have I?

 

No

I

have

not.

 

So I’ll admit: At our first meeting, I wanted to talk to Paul about what I was writing (or not writing), why I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and while we’re at it, what is he writing? And really? We’re not going to read our work and get feedback and what is this accountability stuff anyway? Because I have blocks, Paul. BLOCKS. I’m scared my work won’t be good enough and it’s paralyzing. FREEZE-MAKING. I don’t always know how to advance my plot so I don’t move it forward at all, because then it can’t be wrong or bad and suck and if I don’t finish this book, I won’t find out that I’m not a writer after all and then what? THEN WHAT? What will I do? Who will I be? I don’t want to write it because I don’t want to discover I cannot write.

 

We’ve got deep-seated issues, folks.

 

But no. This meeting is not about talk. Or blocks. This meeting is about “did you do what you said you were going to do?” This meeting is not about I was too busy or the kids are driving me crazy or I’m tired or I might suck. This meeting is about “did you do what you said you were going to do?”

 

Right. So at the beginning of our meetings, I started with lofty goals like “Write 1,000 words this week” and “Write for two hours straight.” And I did not meet those goals. And I discovered things about myself, which I will detail in Part II. But for now, my more reachable goals are “Write for 30 minutes” and “Write for 40 minutes.” And have I met those goals?

 

Yes

I

have.

 

Through these meetings, I’ve learned to see my excuses for what they are and to identify the difference between an ideal and a value (Do I want to be a writer someday? YES. Am I valuing that ideal enough to live it through action? NO.) So due to these meetings, Paul (and Kristine) have gently pushed me to see some of my writing issues more clearly and have given me helpful feedback and tips. Henceforth, I thought I’d share them with you because I’ve got a feeling some are universal.

 

So please stay tuned. The writing rubber hits the road in Part II.

 

But meanwhile, I leave you with the below questions asked weekly at our meetings (and I hope Paul won’t mind that I’m sharing, because he came up with them):

 

Have you changed the nature or priority of your writing/publishing goals in your life since our last meeting? If so, are you giving up on a goal or dream — or just adjusting the target. Do you feel a lack of drive/incentive due to another problem? If so, why?

 

Did you achieve 100% (or more) of the goals you set for yourself last week? If yes, share how you did it and any pitfalls you avoided?

If no, please share your pitfalls and ask the group how you can avoid making this a recurring pitfall.

 

And so I say YES! This group is exactly what I needed.

 

Yes

it

was.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

May 29, 2009 · 16 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « PROMPTuesday #57: Your Novel
Next Post: Sunrise, Sunset »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Kizz says

    May 29, 2009 at 11:40 am

    Wow. Just wow. That sounds like just the kind of meeting I need right now.

    I’m having the same plot advancement problem. Let me know when you crack it, will you?

    Reply
  2. Danielle says

    May 29, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    This is me: “I don’t want to write it because I don’t want to discover I cannot write”
    I skipped the last prompt because really I was too embarrassed to show everyone my work in progress. It’s only a outline of sorts, that is a high level overview of the actual book. But I read it again and I was like no, I cannot post this because what if is REALLY bad? I probably should have just sucked it up and posted it.

    So I am impressed you’re taking on your goals and fears head on. And you’re making it happen. And the other part is YOU ARE GOOD. Or really I wouldn’t come back to read your blog everyday. I mean I’m not but not THAT nice.

    Reply
  3. Danielle says

    May 29, 2009 at 1:10 pm

    Ok, well apparantly I’m not a good writer because I forget words. My last sentence should be ‘I mean I’m nice but not THAT nice.’
    The thought that I sucked made it happen…

    Reply
  4. stoneskin says

    May 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    I spent (literally) a good half minute trying to figure out what twth means. But sounds like that meeting is a good thing, I mean it teaches you to say “no I have not” in a really strong and firm way right?

    Seriously, glad it is working.

    Reply
  5. bejewell says

    May 29, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Those meetings sounds absolutely excruciating. And also, like something I should probably do myself. But I won’t. Because I am lazy and iresponsible but I don’t really feel like saying that out loud to anyone. I said it here, that’s good enough — right?

    Reply
  6. Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says

    May 29, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    I’m scared. I love you. Bye.

    Reply
  7. Da Goddess says

    May 29, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    I so need a group like this for my writing AND my photography. I need an ass kicker or three in my life!

    I’m so proud of you for defining, redefining, and WORKING on your dream. You’re my idol.

    Reply
  8. kate says

    May 29, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    hi. okay. bye.

    because what my wife said.

    paul? eek!

    in a good way.

    Reply
  9. JCK says

    May 29, 2009 at 9:20 pm

    What a fantastic idea for a group! And yes, what you write of here is universal! Oh, to do what one sets out to do from one seven day period to the next…

    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  10. Suzanne says

    May 30, 2009 at 9:36 am

    This was an amazing post. I felt like I was looking in a mirror and hearing myself recite the various reason I can’t or haven’t written. Glad to hear that you have put yourself in a place where you can be accountable to yourself for your writing and get back to it…I can tell you’ve got the talent (and apparently so can two agents!!!!)

    Reply
  11. vodkamom says

    May 30, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    I am getting ready to start a writing group when school is out! I love these ideas! I’ll be getting back to you on this.

    now go KICK YOUR OWN ASS.

    Reply
  12. Blognut says

    May 30, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    Yup. Terrified.

    Don’t have time? Or, won’t make time? I’m not sure which one. I most certainly have issues.

    Reply
  13. Jennifer says

    May 30, 2009 at 9:42 pm

    I’ll be joining a writing group next month. One opposite of what you describe here. One of encouragement and brainstorming. Along with a few prompts here and there. This will be good for me since I’m not all that sure that I can write a book.

    Good luck to you and if you ever doubt your writing ability just check back on the comment love.

    Reply
  14. Green Girl in Wisconsin says

    June 1, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    This was so honest…and so close to where I’m at most of the time. Incredible how a little accountability and new goals can change the game, huh? I’m finding the same thing.

    Reply
  15. tinsenpup says

    June 3, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Wow! That sounds fantastic. You are getting on track. You’re really going to do this! And I’m thinking I might actually get to read more about those witches. :)

    Reply
  16. she says

    June 6, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    I want to live near you and be in this group! I’m not scared. Well, maybe a bit!

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

sandiegomomma

sandiegomomma
Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years… Circumstance Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years…
Circumstances have changed since post-Prom-picnic-circa-1986-vibes…
#WhereIsBryanAdamsNow
Dorm drop! 🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕 Dorm drop!
🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕
💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫 💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫
Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Monica trip.
And now she knows she doesn’t want to live in LA….
#LifeLessons
It’s happening….. It’s happening…..
Barely tolerating me….. Barely tolerating me…..
Beach day with my “little” one while big sis e Beach day with my “little” one while big sis explores Cal Poly…
Life transitions. Beautiful but I haz the olds.
#NotAboutMe #Whhhhyyyyy
A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDo A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDoesntLikePictures
Sunset squad. Brought a picnic and drinks to Del M Sunset squad.
Brought a picnic and drinks to Del Mar and watched the waves and horizon. Not too crowded or cold - another good hang with the neighborhood gang! ❤️❤️
Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my In Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my Instagram) (and in my antibodies). It’s a COVID New Year’s Eve…
Husband and I down for the count(down).
BUT. We’re doing decent and it’s cozy up in here…
Winery times! Winery times!
Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen talking about everything.
Smells like a Sunday neighbor night. ;)
Line dancing lessons… My two left feet did nothi Line dancing lessons…
My two left feet did nothing right - but they did it with gusto.
Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite the seeming divine intervention from above, we weren’t struck with the “perfect” next book to put on our list…..
Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion. (Oh my Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion.
(Oh my gosh you guys…! No! I’m not a sports model! But I totally understand how you might think so.) 😜😜😜
I wanted my hair to do that. #NordicSisters I wanted my hair to do that.
#NordicSisters
Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/ Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/sang with him.
Miss you Dad. Hope we do your hats justice. Lord knows we’ll have fun in them, just like you did. 😇
Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning here. And the landscape is nice too ;).
Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing inspiration...
Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, th Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, the rainbow jumper and white bobby socks oughta do it. No but wait! There’s a bowl cut. Annnnnnnddd giant gold-rimmed specs.
#CentennialFashion
Load More... Follow on Instagram
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT