My skull feels like it’s full of packing peanuts and my brain is taped in cellophane and bubble wrap all the way at the bottom of the box. So many peanuts! So much digging! And still right when I think I finger a bubble, it’s just another styrofoam peanut. Why so many peanuts, head?
Good God. I don’t even know where to start with stuff to write today. So you know what THAT means, right?
- Person who died last week: My Jigsaw post was about Kathy, the sister-in-law of The Rock and I’s best friend. She died a week ago, was only 55, and for a time, I thought she’d get better. Her disease progression reminded me a lot of my mom’s — who passed away from breast cancer at 56 — and it really pissed me off/made me cry. I remember so clearly when a friend saw my mom at my brother’s college graduation in 1997 and how she couldn’t help but sob in front of all of us — even though she attempted to hide it. I know now that she knew then my mom was going to die. I was that person when I saw Kathy last December and knew she was going to die, too. I hate, hate, hate that outsider certainty when the person dying needs to hold on to every hope that they’re going to make it. I feel like a traitor.
Anyway, her memorial service was beautiful. I prefer non-denominational funerals to Catholic ones because all the Catholic pomp and circumstance only separates the congregation from the reason they are there. It’s more about ritual than about remembering the life of the person who passed. In my opinion. At any rate, this service reminded us of how Kathy lived her life and practically forbade mourning.
Also, have you heard the song “Grace Like Rain?” I never had, but a beautiful man with a beautiful voice sang it at the ceremony and it was the most poignant thing I’d ever heard.
- Mother’s Day: The Rock and I do this weird thing. It’s called “not making plans.” “Ever.” So that means when a holiday rolls around, we have no earthly idea what to do nor where to go. This has conjured interesting dates and excursions, for instance for our one-year wedding anniversary we went to Orange County and shopped at South Coast Plaza.
For Mother’s Day, “not making plans” meant we went to Horton Plaza and ate cheese fries and saw “Monsters vs. Aliens.”
I thought it was swell. Really and truly.
Don’t tell The Rock, because I made him feel guilty kinda, but I like our impromptu non-planned holidays. Of course, we did try to go to Seaport Village first, but after trying to park for the better part of the millennium, we opted for mall time. Plenty of parking there. Also, Toots got a haircut and there was Ben & Jerry’s. Plus, a kilo of popcorn.
So all the makings for a kick assingnest Mother’s Day.
- Insert another bullet point here: Too many head peanuts! Can’t extricate another bullet point from the mind morass!
I made money from this story.
I would like to do more of that.
So if you are a person who pays money to people for stories, how you doing?
As you can see, I am real awesome at organizing thoughts and making plans for stuff. Also, do you see my word choice (see previous sentence)? Very inventive and good.
Also, the crap shit was edited out of my story and the whole part about my mom buying the most splendiferously ugly Persian rug was cut, which probably woulda optioned for a screenplay had it been left in.
- Just one or two more things: Public apologies for not responding to emails or comments or etc. I’m currently writing this in between editing four reports while wrapped in a blanket pretty sure I’m battling a brain tumor, so I’ve been a bit booked.
Also, how do you return the favor for a playdate when the mom invited you over last Sunday and made lamb dumpling hot pockets, Russian potato salad, liver pate, lamb kabobs, shrimp kabobs, chicken wings and three bottles of wine?
Finally: Catholic school or public for kindergarten-preparing Toots?
When formulating your answer, please keep in mind we are broke, but appreciate God, except when he kills people we love, but even then we are pious enough to realize he has a plan (quite unlike The Rock and I), even though it may appear to sometimes suck.