Today I’m reminded why do prayers work for some and not for others. Why I’d rather just know, and punch hope. Screw the experimental medicine and the new treatment and the wait and see.
Today in December when I knew you would die and you said no you wouldn’t (NO! YOU WOULDN’T!) I saw so clearly in closet tears see I know losing a mom watching her die and now 7AM it’s happened again. This very morning. Fuck that memory.
(I want that memory.)
Today I know there are fathers, and more mothers, and grandmas, and sons and daughters and friends and neighbors and the person down the street and more, just more.
And I could keep on, tell God stop taking my mothers but your daughter, that’s her rightful cry and lament.
So today I recall why do prayers work for some and not for others.