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Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / Our Song

Our Song

Etcetera

This happened so fast, every last bit (it started when?) and now you’re dying, you are dying. A Saturday night and it comes down to this: a cough, rattled breath, and love you don’t hear. We’re next to you, we circle you, we avoid you, we sleep on the floor to be near. Because you are slipping, you are slipping. Most of us are struck by the severity, the harshness of what comes next. We are losing, and you are going, you are going.

 

++++++++++

 

You made it that night. But you are near. Sunday and you choke and gurgle and I ironically smell lavender from the pink pillow I bought as your good luck charm. We play your favorite CD and finally Mother Mary, Gentle One soothes your heaving, your refusal to let go. All of us ring the bed, watching you, in our way. Hours later, still at your side, and you are leaving, you are leaving.

 

++++++++++

 

I tell you it’s OK. I smooth your hair and somehow, it’s just you and me. The two people who fought their way through the years, and it’s just you and me. I ignore the sound, your mouth fighting for air, and just smooth, I just smooth. Closing your cold mouth that final time was the worst thing I’ve had to do. The worst thing I had to do. And you are floating, you are floating.

 

++++++++++

 

Tell me you are floating.

 

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February 10, 2009 · 21 Comments

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Comments

  1. Kate says

    February 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    This is so beautiful; made me cry. “And you are floating, you are floating.”

    Reply
  2. Grace says

    February 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    I can feel the sadness in your words. I hope you have family and friends near you to support you.

    Reply
  3. Renée aka Mekhismom says

    February 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Wow, the words are beautiful.

    Reply
  4. Blognut says

    February 10, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    That’s very moving.

    Reply
  5. vodkamom says

    February 10, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    that was amazing. My sister and her husband lost his father today. Made me think of him, and his kind soul making the journey “home…”

    Reply
  6. Jennifer says

    February 10, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    A song its self. Beautiful. Such a tender moment captured by words.

    Reply
  7. Csquaredplus3 says

    February 10, 2009 at 5:31 pm

    I’m struggling with words here. It’s moving, and pretty, and sad.

    Reply
  8. kate says

    February 10, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    you are an amazing woman.

    Reply
  9. Jenn @ Juggling Life says

    February 10, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    You took me right back to my last days with my mother. Wow. I’m really sort of stunned.

    Reply
  10. stoneskin says

    February 10, 2009 at 11:42 pm

    Very moving, beautifully written.

    Reply
  11. mommypie says

    February 11, 2009 at 1:15 am

    Wow. You always replay your moments so beautifully.

    Reply
  12. g says

    February 11, 2009 at 4:51 am

    This is stunning. you start by saying it “happened so fast” and then the way you have paced the piece really does happen so fast, sort of inexorably moving forward without stopping, just like that.

    The use of repeating phrases and rhythms carries us on to the end, to the final release. going, going; slipping, slipping; leaving, leaving; just smooth, just smooth; worst thing, worst thing; floating, floating.

    So beautifully crafted and so poignant.

    Reply
  13. Kizz says

    February 11, 2009 at 7:30 am

    I love this, too. It’s the last line that makes it all work so perfectly.

    Reply
  14. Mama Mary says

    February 11, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Wow, what a piece. Brought me right back to saying good-bye to my dad. To those last days of his rattled breath, our baited breath. When would it happen, who would be in the room? Is he floating? Thank you for that.

    Reply
  15. Green Girl says

    February 11, 2009 at 7:53 am

    Floating. I like that.

    Reply
  16. The Girl Next Door says

    February 11, 2009 at 8:24 am

    The images of your moments grab me and take me with you. I hope you feel the hugs and love being sent to you….

    Reply
  17. Cheri @ Blog This Mom! says

    February 11, 2009 at 10:37 am

    The ironic scent of lavender from a pink pillow.

    You’re brilliant.

    Reply
  18. Danielle says

    February 11, 2009 at 10:51 am

    That is really beautifully written.

    Reply
  19. veronica lee says

    February 11, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    Hi and welcome to MBC!

    Reply
  20. Jessica Bern says

    February 11, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    I had no idea there was any illness in your family. I am truly sorry Your words are so beautiful Sandi. Big hug from me to you.

    Reply
  21. Da Goddess says

    February 12, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Heartbreaking. Deeply.

    Reply

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