I do this thing where I’m sure I’m not doing enough for the kids and so rope The Rock into nefarious schemes to make me feel more parenty.
This past weekend, I thought we should be doing more holiday things, so I scanned the Internet and found a community theater production in a quasi-questionable part of town that sounded perfect. Basically, the event write-up said, “…includes 29 yuletide songs, an Elvis impersonator, and a sketch about Leave It to Beaver…”
I loved it. The whole thing was well-meaning, but a bit off, just like me. It’d do nicely.
Strangely, but lovably, The Rock agreed, and soon we were off. A half hour later, as we pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall theater, I noted a crazy-seeming young man listening to the Chargers game outside his truck. At one point, he jumped up and down, screaming, and I grew concerned that this whole community theater thing were a front for a serial killer operation, but as I’m not one to understand getting excited about sports, I let it pass.
For some reason, I’d dressed the girls up and kinda frocked myself out as well. I don’t know why. It was 2PM on a Sunday, but I thought the occasion should be festive to fit the parenty picture in my head of be-ribboned kids giggling with delight over 29 yuletide songs, so I went with it.
Seconds later, we walked into the “foyer,” acutely aware that we were the only people there, and
I began to question my well-meaning offness. Either way, we were in for a pound, so inside we went.
Turns out there were nine audience members total (one for each cast member!) and I forced myself to smile and sing along to all 29 yuletide songs so the actors wouldn’t feel bad.
Anyway, to sum up, I don’t know if you’ve seen Waiting for Guffman, but you should.
p.s. The crazy-seeming man jumping outside his truck was Beaver.
p.p.s. My festooned children actually DID giggle with delight over the 29 yuletide songs (except for Booger, who suffered a nervous breakdown after song #23), so I mostly succeeded in feeling parenty.