So it’s been crazyish around here today. First, Rebecca’s family doesn’t seem to know what to do from this point, so they’ve been calling me, and as an unofficial representative and only person she knew well in San Diego, I’ve been trying to iron out what happens now. Rebecca’s wishes were to be cremated and laid to rest in the Pacific Ocean (as was my mom’s request, isn’t that weird? tell me there’s some meaning there), but the family is deciding whether or not to go against those wishes and bring her home to Georgia. I don’t know. Is it me? I don’t like going against what she wanted. But the woman at the mortuary said that happens all the time.
I have no idea what my role is from this point forward. Someone will need to clean out Rebecca’s apartment, stop her mail, and so on. But who? Her family is elderly, some are sick, and no one seems to be moving forward with any arrangements. I hated the thought of Rebecca in the hospital morgue, so I called the mortuary she’d specified to pick her up, and I hope the family will agree to her wishes after that point.
I also can’t get a straight answer as to the executor of her estate (I think it’s her brother who is in the hospital himself in Georgia), so I guess I wait to hear what to do next, if anything. To tell the truth, I want to be out of it now. I was able to see Rebecca soon after she died, and that’s what mattered to me. Yet, nobody in the family is taking the reins here. I think I need to tell them that I just can’t be involved in what happens to her things and estate from this point forward; that I’m available as a helping hand, but not as someone who makes decisions. I mean, I can’t anyway. But I’m uneasy about the loose ends and no one to tie them. I also wonder if I’m opening myself up to some legal issues here. I’m not authorized to be Rebecca’s representative, yet by nature of my proximity to her, I’m getting the calls from the hospital, organ donor agencies, etc. I’ve forwarded such calls to the family, and now I need to let it go.
OK. So in other news. This past weekend, The Rock and I went out BOTH NIGHTS (a rare and unique luxury). We love live music and two acts we particularly enjoy we’re playing at local venues.
Despite our extreme lethargy and unfamiliarity with being out after 10PM, we saw some GREAT shows. The Mother Truckers opened for one of our favorite raucous bar bands, The Peacemakers, and I could not get enough. The lead singer followed her bliss with her calling, that’s for sure. Her enthusiasm and love for singing were completely contagious and the show rocked hard core.
The Peacemakers came on soon after, but I couldn’t get the Mother Trucker’s salty, bawdy, smoky sound out of my ears. So amazing. Really, you should check them out if you like country rock/alt indie/whatever they were.
Saturday night, The Rock and I went to a local coffee house to see Chris Trapper, who is an amazing storyteller and lyricist (and performer). Man, I love music. It heals, don’t it?
Anyway. To my point: there’s a giveaway today. Remember how I wanted to celebrate my impending 40 with some stuff for yous guys? It starts today! I’d love to give away a CD from the Mother Truckers or Chris Trapper or the Peacemakers, You decide. Or, you can select a mix of songs from each one. ALSO. My favorite person and pillar of strength, The Rock, mulled over offering a mix CD too. Luckily, he’s got amazing taste in music (he discovered Chris Trapper for me, after all), and so I’m all over his offering a mix of his favorite music for your consumption. But I think he needs to be convinced.
So. Here’s the giveaway parameters. Leave me a comment and tell me which CD you’d prefer (Chris Trapper or Mother Truckers or The Peacemakers or a mix of all) and if so inclined, beseech The Rock for a bonus CD of his fave music. You might consider telling him you love the way the sun reflects off his sexy bald head. Sometimes that works. I’ll pick one winner at random on Wednesday, Nov. 12 at 5PM. Hopefully, the winner will receive two CDs, if The Rock agrees to man the turntables.
Good luck!
It has taken me far too many days to catch up with all my favorite reads, but let me start here by saying how sorry I am for the loss of your friend. My grandmother passed away four years ago around this time of year, and it’s always striking how I can remember the day it happened by the way the sun shines or the colors hit on that day.
I’d be leery of having too big a role in how things are finalized. The lack of any kind of legal connection seems too big in the grand scheme of things.
I’ll be 41 on Saturday. Forty has had some highs and lows, but truly, the highs have been far, far greater than the lows. I hope the same for you. If you want to keep the low out of it completely, feel free!
Also, I’ve heard of Mother Trucker, so I’d be quite intrigued to hear more of them!
i’m throwing my proverbial hat into the ring for the cd giveaway…i’ve heard of the mother truckers and the peacemakers but haven’t heard any of their music. i love hearing new music and wouldn’t mind one (or two!) CDs. :)
and in regards to which one, i don’t mind at all, whichever you like best!
I’ve never heard of any of these people and I know I don’t check out nearly enough new music so I would like to try my chances on the CDs as well, please.
I think music is a great way to move through these days. My pseudo grandmother who died in September left a family of non-blood family members behind, too, and it’s so complicated. You seem to be navigating it with grace and, no matter what her blood family does, you know you did as much as you could to honor Rebecca’s wishes. I’m with you, I can’t stand the thought of not doing what a person asked for.
Cool! I came back to try to win stuff, like I said I would!
Hey, when’s your birthday, anyway?
Princess Gail and I love live music as well. We’re trapped at home a lot, because we have an autistic son, but when our favorite band is in town, we make arrangements! The Menu’s come from Cincinnati at least once a month, and we be front row groupies!
Tell The Rock that I feel his balding pain. We’re bald brothers!
With such an enthusiastic rave about the Mother Truckers, that would have to be my pick! And I would love a “The Rock’s mix!”
Great idea, birthday girl!!! : )
You can let go now. You’ve blessed Rebecca, and she blessed you. There is nothing more for you to do here on this earth for her. Did you need someone to tell you?
On with the music. Anything you or the Rock were to mix would be groovy.
First time here but I’ll throw in my 2 cents and say, step away. I agree that who knows what kind of legal crap could come back to haunt you and for what? B/c you tried to help and make this woman’s dying wish come true? It is very kind of you to have done all that you did but you gotta stop, in my opinion. I’m going to let someone else get the CD. I’m just stopping by to say hello.
Here’s wishing Rebecca a peaceful and smooth transition into the next life. It’s tough to let go of the physical, but her spirit will be with you always.
And the music? I kinda like Chris Trapper…never heard him before, but I’ll look for more of his music!
It’s gonna be a crazy busy time sorting through all the mess of death. I wonder if she’ll come visit you? Don’t be surprised.
Amazing, wonderful, good, kind, dedicated YOU to be doing this for Rebecca. I hope the family takes over, but I hope they allow her to rest the way she wanted to.
I know she must have had so much comfort from having you with her.
The last thing I would EVER want to do is hurt your feelings. Without exaggeration you were the kindest, most sincere, welcoming, and helpful woman to me when I started blogging. AND, you’ve never “washed your hands” of me. You’ve been consistent and encouraging – never “too busy” or “too popular” to help someone new.
SO, I would LOVE any CD that YOU would enjoy too. It’s gotta be good!
I’ll take the refreshments and Chris Trapper, please!
Seeing as I have personally experienced the SWEETNESS of your mixes, put my name in for a mix.
(And Rebecca is so lucky to have a champion for her voice. Cremated she wants? Seems she should have her wishes honored. Just sayin’.)
I am waaaay behind on reading and posting and all. I am so sorry for your loss. You were such an amazing friend to the end and beyond. And I agree with Jamie!
And I’m loving Chris Trapper. Thanks for sharing it!
I’m behind in my blog reading.
I would be HONORED for any new music to pass my days. Have mercy on my soul.
Did i forget to say i LOVE music??????????LOVE IT!!!!!
I’m in. I could use me some healing music! Hey, Rock, I like the way the sun reflects off your bald head! I really do! Oh, I forgot “sexy.” Your sexy, bald head!
Cool give away! Count me in… although i’m so out of the loop ive never heard of either group and woud welcome any donation towards raising my coolness factor.
Apparently my head has been under a rock, because I completely missed this!!!
Awww!
So I sez, count me in baby, and mix it up – I don’t know any of these bands but it all sounded good!
Better?
Okay, can you put down the poo stick now, and stop shaking it at me?
i don’t normally enter giveaways because there are hundreds of responses and i never win.
talk about issues…
count me in. i guess?
Myra hooked me up with your cool blog and count me in on your generous contest sharing super fine tunes.
My vote, on the off chance I win, is for a mixed CD – those are the best. Filled with love of good music and the joy of sharing.
Tell The Rock we’re rooting for his participation…it would be an honor to hear his selections.
Am I too late to sign up for the CD giveaway? I LOVED the show and would LOVE a CD as well (or 2)Let that ROCK (or Mr. Stringbean as I know him) I’ll make him a hot meal after Thanksgiving when we return from vacation (if that motivates him). Oh, my favorite CD’s are the one’s you have given me…thanks!