Damn you Matter of Fact Mommy; you and your exciting life, you and your saucy confessions, you and your excitement.
And, well thank you too, because I really tanked out of ideas today and your tag saved me.
Plus, I didn’t really mean “damn you,” more like a “Darn you,” but you better cap the “D.”
So in answer to your tag, here are my 7 random and vanilla confessions. Also let me say right here that I didn’t have a “real” boyfriend until I was 22. And don’t even ask me about the first time I had sex. I’m telling you: boring.
You can leave now, I’ll understand.
1 — I pick my zits. Every single one of them, every single time. It doesn’t matter if they’re on my butt or my face.
I pick my zits.
That’s right, go ahead and pack it up now.
2 — I pilfer money from my husband’s wallet. One time I took enough to get a facial. Now I’m working on stealing what I need for a whole new face.
3 — i just ate my body weight in spaghetti. But it was whole wheat spaghetti, so you do the math.
(What does that even mean? I don’t know, I just blog here.)
4 — I obsessively check my site stats. And what I’ve found is that no one likes me much.
Is it the butt zits?
5 — I didn’t pay state taxes in 1993. On April 14th, I started to fill out the form, then didn’t. It was late, I was tired, there was beer.
6 — I’m afraid to fly. It’s pretty much a full blown phobia, although I’ve flown probably hundreds of times. I haven’t been on a plane since I’ve had kids though, so when I go to New York for my 40th this year, I’ll need bull tranquilizers.
But I’m going! Oh yes I am.
7 — One time I took 75 cents from my mom’s secret drawer and bought a Cadbury egg. While in the drawer, I saw other things too, vibratory things,…but that’d be her confession, not mine and she’s in heaven, so I guess God forgave her.
So I’m just going to tag two people now, two people I know for a fact are more exciting than I.