Damn you Matter of Fact Mommy; you and your exciting life, you and your saucy confessions, you and your excitement.
And, well thank you too, because I really tanked out of ideas today and your tag saved me.
Plus, I didn’t really mean “damn you,” more like a “Darn you,” but you better cap the “D.”
So in answer to your tag, here are my 7 random and vanilla confessions. Also let me say right here that I didn’t have a “real” boyfriend until I was 22. And don’t even ask me about the first time I had sex. I’m telling you: boring.
You can leave now, I’ll understand.
1 — I pick my zits. Every single one of them, every single time. It doesn’t matter if they’re on my butt or my face.
I pick my zits.
That’s right, go ahead and pack it up now.
2 — I pilfer money from my husband’s wallet. One time I took enough to get a facial. Now I’m working on stealing what I need for a whole new face.
3 — i just ate my body weight in spaghetti. But it was whole wheat spaghetti, so you do the math.
(What does that even mean? I don’t know, I just blog here.)
4 — I obsessively check my site stats. And what I’ve found is that no one likes me much.
Is it the butt zits?
5 — I didn’t pay state taxes in 1993. On April 14th, I started to fill out the form, then didn’t. It was late, I was tired, there was beer.
6 — I’m afraid to fly. It’s pretty much a full blown phobia, although I’ve flown probably hundreds of times. I haven’t been on a plane since I’ve had kids though, so when I go to New York for my 40th this year, I’ll need bull tranquilizers.
But I’m going! Oh yes I am.
7 — One time I took 75 cents from my mom’s secret drawer and bought a Cadbury egg. While in the drawer, I saw other things too, vibratory things,…but that’d be her confession, not mine and she’s in heaven, so I guess God forgave her.
So I’m just going to tag two people now, two people I know for a fact are more exciting than I.
First, Mommy Pie, consider yourself tagged. How do you like them apple pies? And Cheri, is it time for another list yet? Because I’ve got an idea for you…
oh, and cursing at me is a MUST when i tag you with this stuff.
love that you (claim to be) so innocent. heck, stealing $.75 from your mom? i used to steal 10s and 20s from her suit jackets – she never knew. i did feel guilty about it. oh, and i steal 20s from my husband’s wallet all the time. it’s the only cash i ever have as i am not allowed to touch the joint checking account…
anyway, muchas gracias for obliging my silly tagging! i love reading your posts. they are all so poetic and heart-felt.
I check my site stats too. I want to know which real life friends of mine read the blog. I like you. and I read you. Every day. I’ll try to click over and comment more often, but I heart your page!
Except for the spooky scary stuff.
Arrgghhh! How am I ever going to top a zit-picking, binge-eating, thieving, phobic stat-checker?? Not to mention a booger-eating slut? (I don’t know you, matteroffactmommy, but I say that with the utmost affection …)
I’ll give it my best shot!
It is time for another list, yes it is! Thank you. Thank you.
LOL… booger-eating slut… look forward to your response, mommypie!
I too am a compulsive stat checker. I’ve been this way for years!