• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / Beauty and the Brain

Beauty and the Brain

Etcetera

Oh crap. It’s begun.

 

My daughter asked me this morning if she were beautiful and I cringed. Then, I scrambled. Then, I imaginated a response that would make her value brains and wit over beauty.

 

Our exchange went something like this:

 

Me: Yes, you are beautiful. On the inside, which is most important.

Her: But, am I beautiful?

Me: Definitely. And smart. Especially smart.

Her: And beautiful?

Me: Oh wow! What’s that? Did you just say something funny? You are so funny! And witty. Both virtues. WAY better than beauty. Ha! You make me laugh!

Her: I like being pretty.

Me: Really? Oh ick. I mean, pretty? A dime a dozen. I love a dame with brains.

Her: Is a dame like a broad?

Me: Ha! That’s funny! {pause} Uh, where did you hear that word?

Her: Grandpa.

Me: Right. Please forget everything Grandpa says to you or will say to you in the future.

Her: But Grandpa’s funny!

Me: Yes! Back to the funny! Funny is good. And you’re smart! Smart funny is the new beautiful.

Her {pouting}: I asked if I were just beautiful.

Me: Hey! I’ve got an idea! Let’s spell beautiful! You can do that, right? Being so smart and all.

Her: You’re bugging me.

Me: Now that’s funny! {{fake laughing}}

Her: Come on, Booger. Let’s go brush our hair.

Me, calling after them: Hey! Hair grows on heads and what’s in a head, but brains! Good brains equals good hair! And good hair is funny! {{trailing off}} …Funny, funny hair… And brains….

 

Oh crap.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

March 11, 2008 · 15 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « Sunday’s Playlist, Except That It’s Monday
Next Post: On the Subject of Beauty »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. pajama momma says

    March 11, 2008 at 11:45 am

    She looks beautiful to me.

    Reply
  2. Lime & Tequila says

    March 11, 2008 at 3:22 pm

    I have not had the beautiful conversation exactly with my daughter. Its more convincing her father not to focus so much on her appearance in terms of his compliments. “You’re gorgeous, what a cutie, etc.”

    He doesn’t say anything inappropriate, but I’m like you and I want her to focus on other things also. The one I had a problem with for awhile is her thinness. She tends to get focused on that issue, am I thin enough.

    I’m like where does this come from. She’s a rail and won’t eat meat. So I have to sneak protein into her whenever I can. In the end, though, we can only give her confidence in her appearance, her brains, her lovely inner being. And if she has enough confidence in herself, I hope the world won’t batter her down.

    You have a lovely daughter. And I’m sure we both have many more conversations like this in our future.

    My daughter is 11.

    Peace,

    L&T

    Reply
  3. Laila says

    March 11, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Nice and funny post :).
    It is a good thing you want to teach her to focus more on her personality but it seems she is really concerned about knowing if she’s beautiful or not.

    Reply
  4. San Diego Momma says

    March 11, 2008 at 4:18 pm

    I know! We actually have had this conversation quite often this week already and I make it clear (while not exaggerating for comic effect :) ), that’s she’s a beautiful girl.

    BUT, I do want to give her other attributes due attn. too, so the focus isn’t all on the beauty…it’s a definite tight rope.

    Reply
  5. pajama momma says

    March 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    As sad as it the world is focused on beauty, it’s just the way it is.

    It doesn’t matter the culture, you might be smokin hot if you can put 10 rings on your neck instead of 7 a lot of emphasis is placed on beauty no matter where you are.

    I understand your wanting her to focus on her smarts, but hell she’s is beautiful. What are ya gonna do?

    Why not let her know that she can be beautiful and and smart? (not that I’m any expert on kids, I have four and can tell you what not to do better than I can tell you what to do)

    It seems society is hellbent on making people think if you’re pretty you can’t possibly be smart.

    Types like Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton (although I don’t find either of them too attractive) are to thank for that.

    Your daughter’s beautiful, what’s wrong with that?

    Maybe all the other times you can focus on her smarts, but come on mom, throw her a bone. :)

    I hope this didn’t sound mean. I didn’t intend it to.

    Reply
  6. San Diego Momma says

    March 11, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    Well put, PJ Momma…

    I do try to let her know that beauty is just *one* of her attributes and not the whole enchilada…but I do think I focus maybe too much on de-emphasizing the beauty…so your comment made me think…in a good way :)

    Thanks for the input! I love it.

    Reply
  7. Cheri says

    March 11, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    This is too funny! I think the same way.

    Reply
  8. matteroffactmommy says

    March 11, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    all great stuff… especially the part where your daughter is supposed to ignore everything grandpa says. yeah, need to start working on that one… :)

    Reply
  9. mommypie says

    March 11, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Oh yes … the ‘beautiful’ conversation. The spin my 4-year-old takes is a bit different. It’s more like, “Mommy, you don’t look beautiful like me today.” Thanks, Kid.

    Reply
  10. Da Goddess says

    March 11, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    Been there with my Mojo. Our conversation went a little something like this:

    Her: Am I pretty, Mommy?

    Me: Yes, you’re beautiful. And smart. And funny, sweet, kind, and goofy. There’s nothing like a girl who’s all those things AND attractive. But remember, all it takes is an ugly attitude to ruin it all.

    Her: So, you’re saying I have to be more than just pretty?

    Me: Yep.

    Her: That’s gonna be rough.

    Me: Not really. You have all that in you already. Just remember to let your whole spirit shine and you’ll do fine.

    Her: Can’t I just be pretty on the outside and leave it at that?

    Me: No.

    Her: Can I have some ice cream now?

    Reply
  11. Steph says

    March 12, 2008 at 5:09 am

    LLOL. It’s okay. They all go through it. Eventually, she’ll realize that being beautiful is nice and all, but it doesn’t get your spelling homework done.

    Reply
  12. Marion says

    March 12, 2008 at 5:36 am

    I have a daughter, and every day I tell her she is smart and pretty and funny and beautiful, so beautiful. Because she is, and I want her to know she is. I can be about MORE than just is she beautiful, to her its about validation. I know that she will take that I think she is beautiful into her system and KNOW it. I am hoping that will arm her against the industry, by teaching her that she IS beautiful, she does not need to do anything for me to believe it.

    Reply
  13. Steph says

    March 12, 2008 at 5:41 am

    Thanks for popping by my blog yesterday! You have a pretty cool blog yourself, I will certainly be back!

    Reply
  14. Christine @ Serenity How? says

    March 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Oh crap is right. We struggle with this too. I have two daughters. My oldest recently made a comment about being fat. I couldn’t believe it. The child doesn’t have an ounce of extra fat on her entire body. She’s super active. She eats well. I tried to steer the conversation around to “healthy” but it really bothered me. I had weight/food issues as a young girl but not when I was 8 1/2.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. sandiegomomma.com » Blog Archive » On the Subject of Beauty says:
    March 12, 2008 at 9:05 am

    […] for the record: I joked in yesterday’s post. I mean, I do not want my daughters to elevate beauty above all else, but I promise I don’t […]

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

Christmas carols for dad... Through the nursing ho Christmas carols for dad...
Through the nursing home window...
❤️
Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagge Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagger...
Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and de Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and despite my phone being stolen right before this pic, I couldn’t deny there are still good things in the world like red sunsets. Even if thieves and bad people muck stuff up every now and again.
Well. One of us takes her time to carve things rig Well. One of us takes her time to carve things right....No. I don’t know what it is. (It was supposed to be Chucky but she carved the wrong parts.) (I still admire the attention to detail.)
#OneDayHH — 8:23PM — Felt like the right time #OneDayHH — 8:23PM —
Felt like the right time to try Schitt’s Creek again. I couldn’t get into it last I tried.
But non-football-watching wives of football watchers do as they must do. And they must do it alone.
#OneDayHH — 6PM — Early evening still life. #OneDayHH — 6PM — 
Early evening still life. 
Husband working/watching football.
Outdoor cushions sheltered from possible rain showers tonight.
Buddha watching over all.
#OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out y #OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out yesterday for a work something...
About to put it back and this earnestness catches my eye from adolescent Debbie...
😳
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.