Stuff I Like: Anatomy of a Swag Bag

The objects listed below, while provided free in a swag bag from Mom’s Night Out recently, are included of my own volition because:

 

a) They saved me time

 

b) They made me look efficient or otherwise put together to people who don’t know better

 

c) They delivered coffee into my mouth at high velocities

 

And while the swag bag held all manner of widgets, whatsits, and whosits, I am only posting about my absolute favorites.

 

 

Boogie Wipes: There’s a whole lot of mucous in my house because the girls have had colds since 2007. They’re getting a lot better about blowing their own noses, but the most unattractive booger mustache usually remains. And because we’re always out of toilet paper, the girls must hack away at the crusty ‘stache with Bounty Extra Thicks. Boogie Wipes allows the Toots and Booger (not named that for nothin’) to blow their noses with a delicate saline wipe infused with essential oil of grape. The wipes also come in other scents, including menthol, which is MY favorite because it reminds me of my childhood when my dad used Vick’s VapoRub to build our first house.

 

 

Skoy Cloth: The swag literature said these cloths are European, and I believe them because the minimalist flower drawn on the cloth looks very Europeaney and Ikea-esque. This cleaning cloth right now is my numero uno dishtowel because I was heartily amazed at how well it absorbed the mucous detritus spilled about my sink. Plus, you can microwave the cloths to disinfect them and use them again and again. I’ve had my swag Skoy Cloth for a week, and except for a minor incident where my husband ripped off a corner to see what it was made of, it’s holding up very well. Also, as a family that goes through 8,402 paper towels a day, I am grateful for a clean-up product that is good for the environment. As for my husband, I think I have to get him a science kit so he can indulge his curiosity about the inner workings of things without destroying my European flower cloths.

 

 

The Tote Buddy: You all probably have a pretty good idea about me by now. And those ideas most likely include words like “hot mess of unorganized mess sauce,” and “blonde.” Am I right? So it won’t surprise you to know that when it comes time to pull out my reusable bags at the grocery store? I rifle through my purse like a crazy person on acid and instead of environmentally friendly canvas bags, I withdraw 87.5 tampons and a Mac lipstick I thought I lost in the bar bathroom at college. So it’s a godsend that the Tote Buddy stores those reusable bags, cleanly organizing them all for withdrawal at your local store. I love the design on my swag Tote Buddy and I’ve already used it several times. That’s not to say that a wayward tampon plunger didn’t make its way into the Buddy, but at least I had my canvas bags where I needed them WHEN I needed them. I also have to admit that I used to Tote Buddy to hold Toot’s jellyfish report, and it was brilliant for that, too.

 

Hey, “Toot’s Buddy!”

 

I love me some plays on words.

 

 

The To-Go Coffee Cup: First of all, white and brown is so the new pink and green. Second of all, coffee.

 

The End.

 

P.S. This cup insulates your coffee and allows you to bring God’s brown nectar with you everywhere — to the kid’s school, to the library, to a tampon-whipping-out party at the grocery store. I would also like to add that my husband “investigated” this product too. Opening this, and twisting that. Feeling its heft and how well the cup rested in his palm. His conclusion? The cup doesn’t “close.” And I’m hear to tell him: “Quarter-turn lid sealing mechanism.” Close it does, Dr. Lamey Pasteur.

 

Now would someone please tell me where I can get science kits for adults? This man needs something to play with. (Leave it alone, leave it alone.)

 

So that about sums it up for Stuff I Like Day. Just a few additional notes: Sweet Funky Vintage is the most adorable kid’s clothes site in the universe.

 

 

I still love the Theresa Rose Etsy shop.

 

 

(Use code MNOsd10 for a 20% discount.)

 

AND? The best for last? I won this:

 

 

…in the Mom’s Night Out raffle. Except in a beautiful maize-y yellow, which everyone knows is the new turquoise.

Also, somewhere out there, some Mom’s Nightian has a photo of me excitedly clutching this tote, exactly like Ed Grimley used to clutch his crotch.

 

 

I’m one classy dame.