Do you know those people who take everything very seriously? And you have to watch what you say because they offend so easily? And more often than not you say something completely innocent and they take it the wrong way?
Take for instance an acquaintance named Lamey. She is single and having a great time. She has no ties and so travels and gallavants, and generally lives life to the fullest.
But if I say, “You are so lucky! You can just take off at any time and go anywhere you want! That is awesome.”
She will respond with: “Oh I’m lucky I have no one? Yeah. That’s really lucky.”
Or if I say, “You are so pretty!”
She might answer back, “So you’re saying it’s weird I don’t have a boyfriend?”
Many times, I gather up the pieces of the eggshell I traipsed all over, stick it in my pocket, and keep my mouth shut.
But this one time we were at dinner and to make conversation I said, “That filet looks amazing!”
And she said, “Are you saying I’m fat?”
So we don’t really talk anymore. But I wish her single, fat ass all the best.
A long time ago someone taught me to say “It’s nice of you to say so.” if they said something nice about me that I had a hard time taking. It’s a tip that’s served me well and hopefully avoided my deflecting compliments on behalf of my dinner.
My friend who recently passed would go through phases like this. She learned it from her mother and hated it when she would do it, so I (unfortunately) got trained to laugh and sort of kick her ass out of it. And she would. But I say unfortunately because those years of being allowed to laugh when Jax was being ridiculous now has created that ingrained response in ME when confronted with it from anyone else.
So, I know I would have laughed at her single fat ass – for sure at that last one!!
Hahahahaha! Don’t let the door hit ya.
OMG, I’ve got a “friend,” exactly like that. Very exhausting, the tiptoeing on eggshells scene…esp. being a big foot-in-the-mouth klutz like myself.
She puts herself down constantly, but is also a Type-A control freak. It’s fun. And if I mention something I’m trying to do to better or improve myself? Same derision. Just glad I’m not her kid…and she has 4.
BTW, I had a GREAT time meeting you on Tues.night & have been reading your archives and enjoying them muchly. Still need to shoot you an e-mail re: book lists.
Are you saying I’m sensitive? Is “Lamey” code for Green Girl? Oh, wait. No, that’s just my PMS surging through.
But all kidding aside, yes, I know this person. Well, not specifically HER, but one like her. And like you, I quit.
Embarrassed to say I am sometimes that girl. What you have to remember is reactions such as Lamey’s come from her own issues. Being insecure, judging herself too harshly, being unhappy, etc. That’s not to say you need to have someone like this in your life. It is draining. I’m only like this on the really bad PMS days :-)
Guess what? I am that girl too!
Oh I had that friend too. Had. I could not deal! I always left the conversation going “what just happenned?”
Sometimes after knowing a person for a while and hearing her songs of woe, it becomes painfully clear why she checks the single box on her income tax form. I know such a person who is beautiful, smart and talented but who has never married. She whines endlessly about her singlehood. Yet no one person, no thing in this universe will ever live up to her stratospheric expectations. We are all a disappointment to her.