Seems I’ve been outed. Not gonna say by who, but her name rhymes with this link. It took me by surprise too, until I was called into the living room last night (unceremoniously I might add) and asked to explain my blog to a room full of woman who know me only as Toots’ mom.
And they don’t even know me well yet. We have kids in the same elementary school, but to them, I’m just a naturally beautiful fashionista with peaches and cream skin that they can’t believe has had two children, what with my svelte frame and all. So how do I explain my “other” life? The one I live almost entirely online? I felt like I should rip my blouse off and show my “SDM” t-shirt underneath.
Turns out I mumbled something along the lines of “aimless,” and “just this thing I do,” and “hey! free food!” I don’t know why, I mean I blog publicly for goodness gracious sake, but there’s something about having people I see every day know that I suffer from subarachnoid hematomas and pragmatically inappropriate syndrome and possibly Epstein Barr (girls! I’m a hypochondriac) and am bombarded with hot flashes and uncomfortable moisture in my secret places (and I’m perimenopausal!) and I like poo humor (I have Bobby Brady brain!) that makes me self conscious.
I mean I have enough trouble keeping people who know and love me around, what’s going to happen when women I’ve known for all of three months read my deepest darkest? Not helping matters was that last night I was an absent-minded maniac who kept starting sentences and not finishing them, who misplaced four 1′ x 1′ serving platters and spent the whole party blaming a ghost (that story in Part 2 of my insightful essential oil party coverage), and stared meaningfully into one guest’s eyes and said “I SO appreciate you being here.” Which I did, but over-emote much?
I’m used to being odd in person. It happens all the time. But odd online?
Well, I guess I’m no stranger to that either.
Did anyone else out there get outed recently?
I accidentally outed myself recently. I still had my Logitech name tag on when I picked up my daughter from preschool. Everyone was staring at me funny, like huh?
I’ve never really been secretive, but my next-door neighbor (whom you’ve met) has said she can’t stand reading my blog because it makes her feel like a voyeur.
She’s cool with me posting pics of her kids though.
I WISH!!! Because I started my blog for friends and family, I never write anything outrageous…
and I wish my facebookfriends would pick up on that link on my profile but they don’t.
I might have to go crazy on my blog someday.
The topic of blogs always comes up at the writers group I attend. Some how I got brave enough to mention mine when another woman blurted out that she’d fallen into the trend. I recently wrote a post about feeling lonely, out of place in the neighborhood and wondering how I a single mom with no life could make friends with a bunch of busy body housemoms. She read it, invited me to hangout and I still haven’t done anything about. I’m too embarrased I guess.
LJMOM: You are famous everywhere, you know that!
Jenn: I love that “B” feels what way.
STM: I will totally support the going crazy.
Jennifer: Hang out with her! I want you to! See what happens.
Outted?
By the hot toe doctor, as you may recall.
XO
Sweetums,
You know I love you… but really? Putting me on blast? No thanksgiving turkey for you!
Here’s my SIDE of the blogpost – How do I explain that seedy side of blog-dating called “market to moms much”? It was like explaining to my mom how I met my last boyfriend… uhm on… this website… facebook… where we reconnected after knowing each other for YEARS when it was really this sultry lil hot spot called -oh wait if I tell then you’ll all know – FREE ONLINE DATING SITE dot com.
So how do I explain to this group of smart, socially well-adjusted (cuz really who gets out on a Wed night?)women when they ask me how I know ya that I am the PR-du-jour that is sending you cool stuff? OK maybe I should’ve lied and said “book club” but I didn’t know what the book of the month was (I gare run tee it isn’t “Trust Agents” – which I genuinely am reading); or school – but wait isn’t your kid like super old? I’d say “work” but they prob know that you work from home… where’s that rock & hard place I like to wedge meself in? So I went with the easy one – lol.
I think your mom-friends who like you now, will LOOOOOVE you after reading this snark-tastic funfest you’ve got going on. Cuz really? how many Sparklebottoms do we need in this world?
BTW – karma has already dealt me her payback… see that hunk of rubber in your uber-posh suburb? that WAS my tire ;)
Smooches :*
Next time – let’s plan ahead on the story we’re gonna use… it worked with J in explain how we met. Came up with a slice of fiction you would LUST for!
Dear The OUTER:
I love you as well. You are wonderful at what you do and I was just snarkin’ at you.
I want no one else but you to take me out of the closet.
xoxoxoxox-
D
Oof. I dread this day. People who know me and know about my blog take a solemn oath to protect my secrecy. Freak, I know.
Not outed yet…
You? Are totally adorable btw. How could they NOT love you!