I can’t wait until I get a real budget and can afford a sound stage and Ron Jeremy!   In all non-snarky honesty, I love this thing. Which is why I’m poking fun at it — I tease because I love. I use it CONSTANTLY and it’s become a real threat to my marriage [...]

I search for my muse in coffee shops, on iPods, in friend’s faces. I sit and think, “maybe today, I will write like I mean to, like I want to, like I’m meant to.” But words get lost in Twitter streams, in frantic readying for this or that, in bottomless glasses. My ability to string [...]

For today, let’s pretend you’re ditching your current life. You’re taking off to a new town as a completely different person. Maybe you’re in the Witness Protection Program, maybe you’re just after a fresh start, maybe you’ve robbed a bank and are starting over, whatever it is…Where do you go? What is your name? What [...]

  I vowed not to look at my phone, to Twitter, blog, talk, pee, or otherwise exist except to work. Nothing, not NO THING, was going to interrupt me. I planned to edit the document before me but good. With no distractions. I nearly made it too, but you know how sometimes you can “sense” [...]

I have this friend.   And she is lovely. She really is.   Very fit, exercise-y, trim. That kind of crap.   Also, very motivational.   Offering to train me, help me eat right, be my health “sponsor.”   Which is awesome.   But really, she’s like the blondie, feathered-hair cheerleader sister you have, where [...]

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been reading some good blog posts lately. Inspirational, thought-provoking, creative, funny, good.   Where would all this writing be if it weren’t for blogging?   I often wonder.   I might still be putting my words into my husband’s ear.   Or on a barstool.   Meanwhile as [...]

I have to admit I was nervous. I mean she is funny. Funny funny. The kind of funny where jokes fly out of her mouth effortlessly and often while you’re left thinking, “I have no witty comeback for that. So I will just listen and enjoy. Hope she doesn’t expect me to talk or anything.” [...]

  Somebody call the cops! The weather is amazing! It’s madness…MADNESS I tell you!   After moving from the midwest to Southern California, my family would often lament the lack of “serious” news in San Diego. Especially when it came to the weather. We know it’s drizzling, San Diegans. But SUCK IT UP. It’s not [...]

Go here! No, there!   I said, here!   Jump. Jump harder!   Not that hard!   Think, think, think. Get that brain going! Let the thoughts flow in, flow out.   Too much flow! Stuff going in wily nily. Filter the fluff!   Filter it!   You’re a Brita!   Have some caffeine. Take [...]

Do you know how you walk into a high-end store sometimes and get attitude from the salesperson? And you think: Aren’t I in essence paying your salary because if it weren’t for people like me you wouldn’t sell stuff? And you also might possibly entertain the notion that the salesperson lives with (a) their parents [...]

BlogHer. For years, YEARS, I’ve heard people speak of it. I remember reading recaps — albeit less of them than this year — from 2001 on, when it seemed like only Dooce and her friends attended the conference. I’ve long been fascinated by what actually went on at BlogHer. It seemed more like a giant [...]

Sometimes I neglect to do what I like to do. i.e. Read a book cover to cover. Other times, I do too much of what I like to do. e.g. Write everywhere else but in my manuscript. Many times, I choose one thing I like to do over the other thing I like to do. [...]

It was Friday when I lost my mind.   I couldn’t keep up, plain couldn’t keep up with the faces, the cameras, the tweeting, the shucking, the jiving, the talking, the branding, the sponsoring, the expo-ing, the walking, the waiting, the schlepping, the nodding.   I misplaced the ability to speak in complete sentences. To [...]

I am re-posting this for three reasons. One and most trivially, because I’m exhausted and lazy. Two, and more relevantly, because I just returned from BlogHer and met many women from my quirk tribe; and THREE, and most inspirationally, it is due to this post that I realized why I blog: because I love to [...]

Feet.  

When I was 18, my family up and moved from Chicago to San Diego. Fresh out of high school, I thought I’d die leaving my friends and summer plans. My heart stayed broken throughout most of 1986. I no longer had things to do on the weekends and no one knew my name. And for [...]

Last week I wanted to send a Facebook message to a friend of mine and when I discovered he was no longer on my “Friends” list, I inadvertently realized he had unfriended me. In other words, I discovered the hard way that he probably doesn’t like me anymore. So…right. And owie. I’m way too insecure [...]