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Archive for September, 2009

Good Golly, Miss Molly

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

Allright, look. I’m sick of pretending. Here’s the straight-up: I’m a nutcase. I guess you’re now going to have to refrain from offering me that job and asking me to watch your kids. I’ve also got to tell you that my crazy is growing. It’s not quite OCD — yet — but I do dream [...]



The Nether

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

It started with the legs. An ill-timed kick here, a knee toward the groin there. Pretty wicked for someone who is unconscious. Then your fingers. Usually the pointer, as if trying to show you. The way it jerks suddenly but with purpose. See? see? X marks the spot. Right there in front of you all [...]



PROMPTuesday #75: Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Today’s PROMPT comes courtesy of Mama Mary, and it’s a doozy. In a good, thinkey kind of way.   I’m going to let her explain your mission for today (actually, you’ve got several days to do this…):   “Let’s say I am casting for a new reality tv show/web series called “Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda.” Either [...]



Tips for Restaurant Seating Planners

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

My suggestion is that tables and chairs not be positioned close to the bathroom. Like not right on top of the bathroom practically, where diners can see people go in and out and sometimes if the door swings just right, see them on the pot (or the floor as the case came to be). And [...]



Prepare Yourself

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

As school gears up, I find myself scheduling more and more playdates (a word I’ve only just come to terms with…it sounds so Real Housewives) and I’ve discovered that for a successful playdate (one in which you do not stick your face in a case of Grey Goose afterwards), one’s home must be prepared.   [...]



Twittarcism

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

Nita Tenshyn @everybody So if you tweet in the forest and a tree falls, does anyone hear you?   Nita Tenshyn @everybody Ha! If I were a tree, I’d be deciduous.   Nita Tenshyn @everybody No, a pine. They’re evergreens. right? Anyone know?   Nita Tenshyn @everybody I love granola! Who’s with me?   Nita [...]



PROMPTUESDAY #74: A Day in The Life

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

I’m itching for a good old fashioned style prompt and so I’m going to indulge myself today.   In 200 words or less, describe a day in the life of an obsessive twitterer.   I know it’s been done, but the Twits in Twitterland are so asking for it.   Please post your submission in [...]



In the Thick of It

Friday, September 18th, 2009

Yesterday a new mommy friend came over for a play date. Her son, Red Bull, is in Toots’ class, and her daughter, Demure, attends Booger’s preschool. Our kids perfectly pair off, because Toots and Red Bull are human energy drinks in a kid bottle, and Booger and Demure remain content to read books and play [...]



PROMPTUESDAY #73: Silliloquy*

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

After a recent evening out, The Rock and I arrived home at 12:06AM and wondered aloud what to pay the babysitter. She’d arrived at about 7PM and since we were between hours, the payment protocol was all off. Should we pay her from 7PM to 12AM? Or, 7PM to 12:30AM? Or 7PM to 12:15AM? And [...]



I’ll Be Back! (Hold Me To It)

Monday, September 14th, 2009

Hi my friends! I haven’t been around, I know. But just so you know, I talk to you every day in my head. We share meandering stories, randomedies, and nutty anecdotes. Oh yes we do. There was the alopecia thing and the coupon debacle and the Starbucks affair (still) and so many other tales. As [...]



PROMPTUESDAY #72: Yeah I Know It’s Wednesday, Smartass.

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Here is today’s prompt, courtesy of She, who had the idea, and Toots, from whose fertile imagination the words sprang.   (A sweltering Toots told me the other day she wished “hot” had never been invented.) (More head-scratchingly, after The Rock told her he didn’t feel like going to work, she helpfully suggested he “kill [...]



Shazaam! It’s Tuesday, Ain’t It?

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

Ooops.   Stay tuned…  



Coming Clean

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

My sophomore year in college I roomed with a Crazy Cajun named Michelle. A dark, swarthy, greasy-haired bobblehead, she drawled, blowjobbed and shit-talked like no one I’d ever met. She hated my innards. I don’t know if it were because I transferred mid-year and ruined her solo dorm vibe, or if she thought I were [...]