I'm a kid who never thought she'd be married or a mom.
Now I'm both.
And that's just fine with me.
Archive for April, 2008
Thanks all for participating in PROMPTuesday. And those of you who e-mail me instead of posting (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), your stuff is very good. But I will keep your good secret if you want me to. And go ahead and continue to e-mail, I’ll understand. I’m going to post more later. I [...]
Read about Justin and why we want Nate Berkus to care.
Allrighty oh! It’s PROMPTuesday again! Time to rev your writing engines. Lube your brain. Check your filter at the door. (What? I don’t know. I just blog here). OK. For your background and historical reference, here is a primer on PROMPTuesdays. And here is the first PROMPTuesday exercise from last week. And now, [...]
Does this work for you? Magic Trick. i have a theory about it.
New Man vs. Wild this Friday! New Man vs. Wild this Friday! I’m keeping vigil for 5 days from now. If a man pronounces “vitamin” like “vit-a-min,” “glacier” like “gla-seer,” and pees on himself to keep warm, I’m so into it. p.s. My husband knows all about it.
This is perhaps my most superficial post. Right after this one, and this one, and this one. Oh, there you are! This one was hiding. Anyway, I’m using you. But only because you’re so fabulous. In other words, please decorate my house. I’m serious my Internellies: please, please decorate my house. [...]
If you come across a tall, decomposing man with his back to you, do not say, “Hello, kind sir? Can you help us?” And when he doesn’t answer, don’t keep pushing, asking again, “Hello? Kind sir?” Kind sir is a zombie. Do NOT play “flip a coin” with Shaggy. Mops on heads [...]
This is our bulimic fish, Shimmer. Shimmer throws up/poos/sullies herself often and as a result, her fish bowl looks trampy and boggy almost every day. So I clean it a lot. These are the two red plastic cups we keep by the kitchen sink. We have 1,009 in our pantry, but [...]
I wish there were a better solution than to split up all these children and scatter them throughout Texas. From the Salt Lake Tribune: “The hundreds of children from a polygamist compound taken into state custody are on their way to group homes, shelters and residences, but experts and lawyers fear their transition may [...]
THE IMPORTANT: It’s MommyPie’s 40th birthday! MommyPie was the first person to e-mail me after I launched San Diego Momma, and was so warm and funny that I’ve been following her blog ever since. Plus, she loves Ghost Hunters AND Paranormal State, which in my book, is an instant guarantee of best friendship [...]
Thank you to those who participated in PROMPTuesday. I loved reading your poems and am wowed and cowed by your lyrical talent. (Here’s a little PROMPTuesday background.) Thanks also to the people who read the poems, left comments, and laughed surreptitiously. If you missed it, check out the nonsense poem submissions here: Greormeoeprkeadocious. [...]
Look, I know: shut up already about your intestine and what may or may not be inside. Just keep quiet about fatty livers and polypy gallbladders and for God’s sake, lady, you already told us you were a hypochondriac and you really expect us to believe you’re sick? Well, fine. I’m just writing this [...]
Here we go! It’s out first PROMPTuesday! And remember: ANYONE can participate. This is for fun. Even if you don’t care a hill of beans for creative writing prompts or, for that matter, creative writing in general, you are welcome in this place of non-judgment and happy color rainbows! Yeah! Miss Mary/Barry Sunshines all over [...]
In my early 20s, I blind dated a man who, upon seeing a tiny puppy yanked mercilessly on its leash by a teen-ager, jumped up from our shared frozen yogurt to confront the kid. We’d watched the dog yelp for a few seconds and I, not wanting to make a scene, said nothing, while [...]
Let Your Imagination Bear Fruit. So I want to be a writer. How about you? Or, maybe you just want to play with words, take pleasure in the creation of something thought-provoking, humorous, insightful? Either way, I’ve decided to do something on San Diego Momma to inspire me, flex my writing muscles [...]
I’m starting a new San Diego Momma tradition called “PROMPTuesdays.” And it’s going to really lube up those writing muscles (just decided that “lube” really is the kind of word which should only be used in conjunction with “oil”)…BUT, you know what I’m saying, right? Every Tuesday, I’ll issue a new writing prompt [...]
This Sunday’s Playlist is dedicated to my mom, Angela, who would have been 67 today. (Please note that if you do follow that link above, I included it in the interest of full disclosure. I wasn’t all light and rainbows when it came to my mom. In fact, after she died, I was still [...]
I don’t know where I’d be without books. I moved a lot as a kid, and books quite literally were my best friends when I didn’t have any others. I cried myself to sleep many, many nights, comforted only by my friends Ginnie, Trixie, and Nancy. If I hadn’t read that other people [...]
This happens EVERY TIME! I get memed right when I need blodder (blog fodder) most. First, Matter of Fact Mommy, asked me to list seven random things about myself, which I’m happy to do, although it will surely reduce you to sheer and utter boredom. And secondly, Mommy Pie, my favorite ghostbuster, tagged [...]
It’s just that I’m frustrated. I haven’t wanted to post because I’m irritated, disconcerted, and befouled (does that mean I crapped my pants?). I’ve been bemoaning the state of the medical profession in Southern California, the U.S., the world, although I think healthcare is better in France? Also, maybe Germany? I don’t know. I still [...]
(Almost everything is from my favorite site, Artful Wears) THIS THIS OR THIS WITH The print tee above, I’d also wear with: Which I could pair with: (Look at me! I’m mixing and matching!) And I’d also love to wear: [...]
…PLUS! One of our store stylists will kabuki makeup your face AND apply your very own beauty mark haphazardly! FOR FREE! Ooo La La! So Spring 2008! (Vapidity not included.) The hell, Benetton?
I’m taking a break from my dinner preparation: My children are paying the price of my PMS. And my PMS wants ham. Beans to work out the PMS bubbles. Fries, because? Fries. Where was I? Yes, a break from my dinner preparation to tell you [...]
Last night I dreamt that my husband died. And clearly, painfully, I regretted not saying goodbye. We’d ended the dream night with tense words and when I woke the next morning, he’d passed away. My mom came to the house to help with the kids. Thank God, because I was useless and mute, and [...]
Toots is obsessed with Scooby Doo and this morning looked up from her Doo coloring book to tell me she wants to be Daphne next Halloween. “Great!” I say. That should be easy: mini skirt, boob inserts, bouffant wig. I should find that all in Party City’s “Appropriate for 5-Year-Olds” aisle. Then Toots [...]
Here it is in a nutshell: there are two winners of my totally awesome kick butt Miss Mix-a-lot CD contest. I’ll try to explain. Mainly, it’s that I’m complex. I can’t make things easy. (Can you hear my husband’s voice faintly emerging from the Internet ether, yelling “hell no she can’t!” ?) Because first, [...]
So has this ever happened to you? You’re like, “Oh Shight! I’m going to be 40 soon!” and then you look at your arms and realize you need to start lifting weights because in just the last 6 months, something terribly awful happened to your collagen AND your muscle fibers and you need an [...]
Oh man, I’m busy today, so…. …to fill space, I’m letting my husband’s alter ego, Stubing Rothschild (Notes on Stubing: dry “Brit” humor, raises truffle pigs, salt and pepper nose hair, smokes pipe ironically), post some of his greatest hits wine reviews* gathered from a recent blind tasting party. And can I say? [...]
Book club is reading Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky this month.
Hi, it’s me, San Diego Momma. Look, I love you guys, by which I mean, girls. And maybe guy? One? Broham? No matter. First of all, you make me laugh. Also, you’re super sweet, like major. And supportive. Even people I haven’t e-met yet, you seem cool. I’ve extrapolated such. So [...]
“So it’s a stone or a rock…” Annie mused aloud. “Same thing,” Carlos said it sharply. Annie fought the urge to snap back. “Witch Woods and The House at 2769 Sullenberg Lane…that doesn’t tell us much. How’re we gonna know where she hid it?” Annie sighed. Carlos spun a wheelie to his [...]
Booger turns two today. And speaking of unmedicated births and things in my stomach, I remember it like yesterday… And they called her Duck Beak Belly. I didn’t plan to have Booger on the 10th, although that was her official due date. But my doctor lured me into his office, knowing [...]
If you like me even a little bit, please do not read any further. I must express the following, because I’m an expresser, but it will disturb and irritate you. BUT if you made it this far, please call the cops if I don’t blog tomorrow. My husband is ready to kill me. [...]
So now I have a band of numbness radiating across my lower back, gas (I don’t think it’s the beans) and upper/lower quadrant pressure (feels like something is under my ribs AND poking my pelvic bone). AND, it’s not my husband. Anyone familiar with deadly diseases who cares to hazard a diagnosis? And [...]
What an excellent meme. (Or as Jamie says, “me me,” which is so perfect.) Thanks, MommyPie for tagging me me. Well, I alluded to it below: I’m tired. I’m worried about my stomach lump. I ain’t got much to give today. BUT, this got me thinking and I can’t NOT write about it, so… [...]
I’m compelled to use clichés today, I think it’s because I’m tired. So very, very tired. Must be the large growth inside my belly, which I’ve known about for a year, but tests turned up nothing and now there’s no denying something is inside me and I’m just hoping it’s not cancerous. Or a baby. [...]
Normally this post would go in the Momma Love section, but I’m busy making beans, so this must suffice as my post today. Meanwhile, please transmit fart death ray thoughts into the universe and pray that I don’t gas anyone to death with my super-farticious beans. I don’t know why, but my beans are always [...]
Toots told me she would make dinner tonight and I wholeheartedly accepted, thinking she’d put a pile of Flintstone’s vitamins on a plate and call it a day. But no, she had something else in mind, and as she gathered the items from the fridge, I sat and typed at my computer, marveling at [...]
Do you ever feel as if you’ve lost your sense of humor? Or worse, you never had one and nobody told you? Or that you can’t write? Or that you have no voice? That’s happened to me today. I love reading blogs, but the problem is, I compare myself to everyone I [...]
The Rock got de-rocked today and after four Vicodin, he felt a little woozy. He has this thing where he’s convinced he’s immune to anesthesia because when he was 5 the novacaine didn’t work and he felt his tooth being pulled. So today, the same thing happened: he felt sharp probing objects down there [...]
I recently looked at these photos taken of people before and after their death and it affected me profoundly. I remember my mother’s face at the moment of death and am struck by the similarities, the peace, the last smear of expression, a final thought imprinted in a sideways mouth, a furrowed brow. I’m struck [...]
I just got an e-mail from a colleague which began, “Hi, hope all is in fine fettle.” Is that a thing? I haven’t Googled it yet, but I don’t think that’s a thing.
Hi, I’m Bob. Look, I can’t get me any San Diego Momma lovin’, so I thought I’d come to the blog hole, where she spends every flocking minute and get her to notice me, just pay attention for one minute. I’m dying over here. So I’m going to air our dirty laundry in [...]
Yesterday was big. First, I lunched with lovely Amanda from the Mom Crowd, who was visiting San Diego with her husband and zen baby, Ace. Truly a wonderful time was had by all (well, by me…I don’t have independent verification from all parties involved). And I have to be honest, I don’t often meet [...]
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