Welcome!   It’s warm and sunny here in SundayLand, is it not? Also, did you just get back from church?   Being that it’s Sunday, I thought maybe you had.   Or perhaps you just had a Sunday brunch?   Or a Sunday walk with the family?   Better yet, did you just have a [...]

  My contribution to Absolutely Banana’s “Make Me Laugh Mondays” is earnest, funny, sweet, head-scratching, ridiculous. But in the best way possible.   We Are the World In Japan   Now I ask you: do I really need a Sunday’s Playlist with that kind of melodius goodness?  

Last night, our friends celebrated their five-year wedding anniversary with a party.       It’d probably be cuter if I showed them together.     There were other kissy pictures too. But because I made them do this 500 times and only one of the photos turned out, this is what we get.   [...]

  I’m driving home from work today when I notice a little bee clinging to my driver’s side window. Now, I don’t like bees much, as I don’t prefer spiders, or any other insect that is an insect so I have to force myself to stay calm, because even though he’s outside the car, we [...]

Thanks Deborah, Matter of Fact Mommy, Rose, Jenn, Mommyrella, Vered, Steph and Angela! For those who left their input after the event I attended last night, I’m glad you agreed with everyone else…and Mommyrella…next time, I’m going for the tights and the jewelry! Loved that! Angela: I like the boots, too. But the dress was [...]

OK, should I go with the round-toe pumps?       Or the boots?     Coat yes or no?   I’m wearing the dress to a “cocktails in historic places” get together and most people wear vintage. Like, heavy duty vintage. We’re talking pillbox hats, flapper duds and pancake makeup. So last question: do [...]

Right when I finished the post below, my friend called to say she’d just been diagnosed with thyroid cancer.   Please send happy light rays into the universe on her behalf.   Her attitude remains positive and she says a simple surgery and some radiation should kill the disease, but she has two small children [...]

My throat hurts, my kids yell, my head aches, my nose swells, my eyes burn, my uterus thickens.   Also, I’m tired. In addition, I planned a Mom’s Night Out for my mommy group at a local wine bar and I’m not company-worthy or conversational. Thirdly, I didn’t understand Paranormal State on Monday night and [...]

  My friend, Farrah, gave this to Toots for her 4th birthday, and can I just say, “thank you“? And for a proper re-enactment of how I might say that, please shout it using all your lung capacity.   Because this entertains Toots (and Booger, who as you probably will guess, promptly shoved some of [...]

Next on my “Road to Oprah” list is “meditate.”   I’ve dabbled in this before, and I can say I felt some benefit. But I didn’t stick to it. Surprised? (Have you read this website?)   So my plan is to start with 5 minutes of meditation a day. For the first week, I will [...]

Learning to Forgive, Pts. 1-3 are here.   I really really don’t want to write this today. But I will. Because I must.   I had high hopes for this one. And I think it went OK, just not as well as I’d hoped. A part of me truly believed forgiveness would be easier. But [...]

I remember the old wooden box Its tarnished screen inlaid on top That coveted elusive box Such hallowed metal inside   Shimmering on the dresser, breathless, unopened Ali Baba’s cave Opened by magic No one’s rightful treasure   Yet I heard stories whispered and shamed The upstaged engagement ring Guilt necklace bought in a rush [...]

I can’t help it! I like the latest Mariah song.   It’s just so me.   I mean, don’t you just want to roll around in these lyrics?   If there’s a camera up in here Then it’s gonna leave with me When I do (I do) If there’s a camera up in here Then [...]

Toots spilled water everywhere this morning and when I asked her to mop it up she said with disdain, “That’s grown-up business.”   Indeed it is. Grown-up business. Yesterday I signed an agreement that added 12 hours a week to my work schedule, which is already chock-full of 20 freelance hours and water mopping. Then, [...]

This month we’re reading Five Skies by Ron Carlson. I’ve heard good things. Word.

Trader Joe’s organic creamy tomato soup (in the box), add Trader’s Joe’s “soycatash” (corn and edamame) and TJ’s spelt. Bring to a low boil, then simmer for 30 minutes. Add cracked pepper and a RyKrisp.   Is good.  

“I think you need to get her on some medication,” he advised. “Something like phenobarbital.”   Phenobarbital? Isn’t that for extreme mental patients? Or the drug of choice from “Valley of the Dolls?”   But I just nodded. “OK, Dad.”   I hoped my acquiescence would signal him to stop. It’d been a long 24 [...]

All these songs mean something to me.   None of them are random or afterthoughts. Each offers specific insight into the emotions that shook me this weekend, then left me to crawl on the sand of my husband’s shore. That doesn’t make sense does it?   It does to me.    

  First, there’s the bacon.     The drinking before noon.     The themed centerpiece.     The themed bathroom.     The cook, the baker, the bacon grease maker.   Unphotographed: the crumbs, the lectures, the eggs.  

I’m sorry. I’m at my dad’s place in Ventura County and we’re talking about Obama vs. Clinton. My dad’s useful insight was, “a broad shouldn’t be in office.”   So, my brain exploded and I have nothing left with which to write a blog post.   So here’s something from a few years ago.   [...]

I was looking through Ye Olde Blog, and for kicks, thought I’d see what I wrote 5 years ago this month.   So here it is! Oh my gosh, I was so awesome. Much like now.   ****************************************** (originally posted March 29, 2003)   Apparently I used to make lists a lot when I was [...]

Damn you Matter of Fact Mommy; you and your exciting life, you and your saucy confessions, you and your excitement.   And, well thank you too, because I really tanked out of ideas today and your tag saved me. Plus, I didn’t really mean “damn you,” more like a “Darn you,” but you better cap [...]

Marriage isn’t easy; especially mine.   But for the first year The Rock and I were together, our relationship has been challenging. We both like to be right, for instance, which can ruin some marriages, and we don’t fight well. We tend to get wrapped around the axle and focus on stupid extraneous stuff, and [...]

Don’t look directly into the eyes of “Booger the Terrible, Jr., the II, Esq.” For if you do, you will begin to spout snot.   It started with my baby. She of the perpetual snot geyser. Then, it migrated to my husband, me, and finally, my oldest (above, you can see Toots trying to manually [...]

I’m not competitive, I’m just not.   A fire burns in me to be the best I can and I do like to win Trivial Pursuit or Balderdash, but I’ve never felt the itch to have the biggest house, enter my kids in the best schools or drive the shiniest car (actually, no danger of [...]

Today, I came across notes for a middle grade book I planned to write many years ago. I’ve since adapted it into something else, although the current draft still contains overtones of this early summary.   Please don’t get all jealous when I post some of it here. You can write, too. But we can’t [...]

Today. Happy Where I Am/Chris Trapper   Be Open/Richard Smallwood & Vision   We’re lucky enough to live about a mile from here.   I’m in the process of picking I’ve picked a song for each picture, which will be is my weekly “Sunday’s Playlist.” I’ll have this up tonight. Enjoy.   Right now, I’m [...]

Spiders suck. Spiders crawl on you, look funny, and lurk in corners. Plus, I’ve seen several of them jump. J-u-m-p. Onto people. And cattle, which they then eat whole. I grew up in Illinois. I saw it.   I do not like spiders, but I try to be as nice to them as possible. When [...]

All is quiet on the western front.     The laundry’s folded.     The Ring of Tam Tam rests comfortably atop a vial of pixie dust, surrounded by the protective Ma-Nu necklace.     There was a struggle, I’m not going to lie to you, gentle readers. Spoorie proved formidable.     But now, [...]

And so what soothes the soul after the pounding, the wounding, the surrounding? What opens it, spills it, lays it down Who lets it in, says just stay here or fly, it’s up to you And at last the fluttering, the humming, the dance It stops, for an eon, a second A butterfly cocooned, not [...]

Here’s the thing. I’ve always, always, always been insecure about my looks. And not just my looks, but everything, including my ability to do anything, and just about everything else.   BUT, we’re talking about appearances now. So let me drive home the point in short, but effective words and phrases: Insecure. Think I’m Not [...]

Just for the record: I joked in yesterday’s post. I mean, I do not want my daughters to elevate beauty above all else, but I promise I don’t submerge them in an ice bath chanting, “you’re ugly, but smart!” either.   Anyway. I got to thinking. I mean, yes, I recreated yesterday’s conversation for comedic [...]

Oh crap. It’s begun.   My daughter asked me this morning if she were beautiful and I cringed. Then, I scrambled. Then, I imaginated a response that would make her value brains and wit over beauty.   Our exchange went something like this:   Me: Yes, you are beautiful. On the inside, which is most [...]

I’m sorry for the delay, it’s just that Spoorie had to be stopped.   So this playlist is special. This guy sang at my wedding and he is an awesome and insightful songwriter, and you hear him and think, “yes! yes! that’s how I feel, too,” and then you wish you could write like him [...]

  Oh thank you, Absolutely Bananas. I needed this today. Because right now I am editing a 59-page report on IT in Pakistan. And no matter how I try, there is no comedy to be found in that.   First of all, let me say that I’m a fan of faux documentaries (like Best in [...]

Tons of fun here today in DementoVille. My kids imagine the most wonderful and mystical things, usually while perpetrating acts of random violence. I think I know what happened to our cat.   Anyway! Come join me for a tour of the enchanting and phantasmagorical! Hop aboard the freak train! Everyone on? And away we [...]

  I completely thought this said “Soccer mom turns violent; 80 hurt.”   And I felt kind of bad for her. She must’ve had a rough day.  

Just the fact that I’m drinking treated waste water is enough to send me over, then there’s this alarm-a-thon.

  Today Toots, Booger and I went to an “arts” day put on by a local non-profit and drummed, painted and sang for most of the early afternoon.   In one room, there was a singing party where a woman played the guitar and led the kids in all the oldies but goodies, which made [...]

Today, I’m dragging my feet before starting the marathon that is taking Toots and Booger to the park.   I didn’t get much sleep last night what with the spider crawling across my face, dropping onto my shoulder and making its way into the ear canal to eat my brain. The part that wore me [...]

Birds leave shadows on the grass where a blanket is drawn   Close by, clouds skitter Blacking out The wings   It’s like this On the ground Where light and dark intermix   A speckled mosaic Of wondering and cursing Not sure what it should be   What should it be A shadow, a bird [...]

TED is an annual conference that challenges the world’s most influential thinkers to give the talk of their lives in just 18 minutes.   You’ve got to check this out.

This program works with your iPod to alert you when anyone in your music library is in town for a concert.   Very cool, unless your iPod is filled with one-hit wonders.

  I loved reading about Captain Cook’s explorations in Blue Latitudes: Boldly Going Where Captain Cook Has Gone Before (Tony Horwitz).   Although arrogant, he was gutsy. Not that it got him anywhere in the end.  

I parked my car in the usual haphazard fashion, bumping my horn as I scrambled out the driver’s side. The man in front of me started, and shifted his reverie from the third floor window he’d been considering.   I mumbled “sorry” and began to hurry away, when something in his manner made me stop. [...]

Stairway to heaven. Except this is looking down, so…   I don’t think our house started out haunted. It’s a new house and we are the first to live in it, and the only hint of previous occupants on this land were the words, “The Ranch” etched in the concrete outside our garage.   But, [...]

  Today Booger asked me for a “huggle,” which made me want less to stick her on an ice floe and shove her off to sea.  

Thank you, God, for Dinner Studio. Thank you for giving humans the brains to think up wonderful franchises where busy moms do not have to cook. Thank you for the brown rice vegetable paella cooking in my oven right now. And thank you for my friend Shana, who did all the work while I drank [...]

Today I saved my daughter’s preschool.   She’s so proud of me. And in the process, I role modeled toughness, resilience, and pull-your-bootstraps-uppitude. Plus: I did it all Charlie’s Angels style.   So what happened is some kid who I feel sorry for (she wears flip flops in the rain and her mom doesn’t strap [...]

It’s just that I’m having a hard time.   I sincerely feel hormonally rocked right now, and it’s just so frustrating.   Ever since my second pregnancy, my hormones have been whacked. I had my doctor test them, because surely something was off, but the test came back within “normal limits.” Which was baffling.   [...]

You know what?   I deleted this post, which was up for all of 30 minutes.   I don’t feel like giving the PMS more power.   So there, PMS.   I don’t feel like getting into the argument over the weekend, the amount of ice cream and popcorn eaten. And steak. And the great, [...]

  So these two jackets from the Goodwill?   Awesome. I mean. Just. Awesome.   I get this floaty feeling inside when I think of them, and when I wear them and when I consider that combined, they cost me $15. The black trench shown above is Old Navy and I bought it NEW for [...]

  Just like her momma.  

  ALSO: Ends/Everlast I Feel Alright/Steve Earle For a Dancer/Jackson Browne with Venice